Eulogy by Jason’s Father Steve Ray

On behalf of Jason’s mother Linda, his brother Eric and myself, I would first like to say thank you all very much for being here today.  It means a lot to us to see so many of Jason’s friends and relatives here to show their love for him.

We especially need to thank Marva Sheriff, a professional artist in Brooklyn Park and friend of Jason’s aunt Lou Ann, for graciously allowing us to use one of her beautiful card designs as the cover for this tribute.  Also Jason’s cousins Sylvia Nelson and Alison Williams for the special music.

Finally, its hard to even find words to thank Monroe Crossing for donating their talent without ever having even known Jason.  Please take the time to meet them after the service and find out more about them.  We want you all to help repay them by going to one of their many performances.  You won’t be disappointed.  For the many of you from the Barrett area, they have a beautiful CD on which a large number of songs were recorded live at Historic Roosevelt Hall in Barrett.  There is a little ford in a stream from a stock pond on Jason’s favorite disc golf course that you have to cross three times in 18 holes.  Jason’s cousin Johnathan named all the holes on the course and put up little signs.  With Tim’s permission, I would like to hear by designate the ford in the stream “Monroe Crossing.”  I even have a couple of their crossing logo stickers to put on a sign.

Just a few words about Jason. I hope you don’t mind that in order to help me get through this, I wrote down a few things to make it easier.

Those who know me, know I am not known for being demonstrative, outgoing, or even very sociable.   Fortunately, Jason did not inherit much of my personality.  Thank God for Linda’s genes.

Our loss of Jason was so unexpected and sudden that it is hard to comprehend.  I always thought that if I could just play one more game of disc golf with him, maybe I could finally beat him.  It’s hard to believe that now I will never get that chance.  Of course those of you that saw us play know that I never really had a chance to beat him anyway.  But he always let me think that I might.

It’s unbelievable how many of you told us that you thought of Jason not just as a friend, but as your best friend, or even brother.  A couple people from my generation said he was like a son to them.  If anyone could have dozens of best friends, scores of brothers, and several sets of parents, it would be Jason.  He absolutely liked everyone he met.  I truly cannot remember him ever saying anything bad about anyone.   He created and ran a web site discussion board for sports memorabilia fans on which one member said that by that act alone, Jason created a circle of a thousand friends from all over the world.

We spent a lot of time in the last few days looking through pictures of Jason.  Some of you brought us pictures of yours.  When you look at them all together, there were a couple of things that stood out in common to most of them that I think said a lot about Jason.  First, he was almost always happy and smiling.  He enjoyed everything he did and everyone he was with.  In order to display as much of his life as possible, we found a couple pictures where he was frowning, but they were rare.   I know he would not want us to grieve, but to be happy in remembering his life.  The other thing I noticed in the pictures was that shots of him alone were very rare.  He was always with someone, usually a group.  From the time he was about two and his brother Eric was born, he was constantly with him as they grew, and usually with a bunch of their friends.  As he got older, he was usually the leader who thought of something to do and organized a group to go do it.  He really loved to be with people.  The more the better.

I believe that he is not alone now.  Like many people his age, Jason didn’t get to church much, but he was proud of being confirmed in his faith and was a believer.  Unlike many people his age, he wasn’t a big collector of music, but he almost wore out his favorite CD listening to the gospel music on the “O Brother Where Art Thou” soundtrack.   How fortunate we are that Monroe Crossing is playing several of those selections.

Jason was certainly no saint here on Earth, but of all the people I know, I think Jason was one of the closest to living as the bible teaches.  He loved and was kind to everyone, he was accepting and not judgmental of any one’s faults, he was very generous with whatever he had, respectful of his elders, honest in his dealings, he never drank, and he truly enjoyed and respected all God’s creations.

I know his soul is in Heaven.  I don’t pretend to know how Heaven works, but I like to imagine that he would be sitting down for long conversations with his grandmother, Betty.  I see him hanging out often with his cousin Philip, and I just bet he is dreaming up some scheme for he and his uncle Samuel to have some fun.  They are probably negotiating with someone like Babe Ruth to make the first Bobble Head Doll of a baseball player with angle wings.

Jason’s aunts Kathy and Lou Ann were looking through some of his stuff and ran across what is as good as anything in summing up Jason’s life.  He enjoyed his time in the Boy Scouts and we were very proud that he achieved the Eagle Scout rank.  At every meeting Jason would recite the Boy Scout Law.  I think it was written about 100 years ago and might sound a little corny today, but I think he really lived the law as best he could.

A  Scout is: Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.  What parent could ask for anything more.

There is so much that could be said, but I want others to have a chance to speak if they want.  There is just one more thing I need to say.

To Colleen.  You made Jason’s life so happy and he really loved you deeply.  Everyone in Linda and my families thinks the world of you and we are deeply sorry for the pain you must be going through.  Please remember that Jason would want nothing less than for you to be happy again soon.  Our hearts and prayers go out to you and your family.  Jason’s godmother and aunt Lou Ann summed it up when she reminded us that you never got to be our daughter-in-law but you will always be our daughter-in-love.

Jason, your mother and I  love you and are very proud of you.